You know you've been in Ukraine too long when...

I have been here for over 5 months!

My friend e-mailed this list to me...and she may have gotten it from another blog...so I really can't take credit for it at all! But it was too good not to share. This list was for Russia, but almost all of them apply to Ukraine. Anyone who has any experience with this part of the world will appreciate this. And FYI, almost all of these apply to me...especially the one about ALWAYS carrying a plastic bag around with me, just in case.

You have been in Ukraine a long time when:
1) You say to the waitress, "devochka, pochemy v blyude ykropa net?" (Why is there no dill on this dish?)
2) You feel naked without your tapochki (slippers...Russian style)
3) You join a random angry bab in berating the roadworkers for how they're laying the tarmac
4) You start looking at Russians and thinking "that is a nice outfit"
5) You think "woah, slow down on the pirogi!" when you see someone over a size 8
6) Someone cuts in front of you on the metro and you tell "Nu, tee sho?! Zhopa!" (hmm..very obscene)
7) You take a plastic bag everywhere "just in case"
8) You yell "ALYO!?" into the phone when you answer
9) You mutter "durak" at the idiot who forgot the pickles when they bought the vodka
10)You join the line at the ticket booth according to what time the tekhnicheski pererivs (technical breaks) take place at each one
11)You remember with scorn the time when you had to buy the whole multipack of yogurts, and not just snap out your favourite flavour
12) You hit the cue-all too hard at billiards, and just shrug and "s dushoi" (It's fate)
13) You start humming the "dumma dumma dee...hya-da-dee, hya-d-da" song
14) You realize that potato is a polenza and appropriate pirog filling
15) "Voda" and "Bezgazirovannaya" (without gas) as inextricably linked in your head
16) The weird guy who lives at the internet cafe turns his music on full blast and starts smoking...and you start to relax, inhale, and tap along...
17) The DSP start pulling even more cars off the road, and you're not surprised when a politician convoy goes past at 200km
18) You start measuring in km, kg, and koneshno, sto grams!
19) You get suspicious when someone smiles at you (rightly so)
20) You laugh at Russian comedy
21) You argue full-belt with the checkout girl why she overcharged you on tampons
22) You shove in front of that damn bab to get the last carton of kefir
23) You get your queue-neighbour to save your place while you shop around, then return and take your place unabashed.
24) You have to check your passport to remember your arrival date
25) You start planning how to fit enough Russian food in your suitcase to survive back home
26) You know which diminutive your friend prefers according to mood
27) You can tell by the weight of your jacket if you have the key to your apartment
28) Your start to say oiy, akh, ekh
29) "Da net!" becomes a logical and usefuneighbor
30) You talk with your neighbour about "those Europeans" in the ballet intermission
31) You actually start to use the prefixes with verbs of motion
32) You appreciatively murmur "bogastova russkova iazika" (Rich Russian language) when you learn a new irregular plural
33) You keep typing "H" instead of "n"
34) You don't get it when your parents laugh if you order juice in a restaurant
35) You think nothing of wearing your stilettos to a club...when its -20 outside
36) The prazdnik celebrations kept you up for the third time in a month
37) Strangers are "molodoi chelovek" (young man) or "devushka" (girl)
38) You ride the marshrutka shouting "ostanovite na ostanvoke" EXACTLY where you want to stop and don't worry about handing your money to the driver via 6 people
39) You stare at the innostrantsii (outsiders, internationals) wandering around town